Hell, everyone should be extremely pleased (I hope that you are)
cause we has done incredibly well!
While accepting (in the next little while) a diverse way of presenting
what the Ref has set in display
let us congratulate ourselves for none the less & none the more
¡the Queen is ninth in the (w)hole!
Such concentration of expertise once existed,
its random slaughter offset by poaching
when vanity management prevailed, slackers weeded out
and now Biology ranks 23rd, likely the UK department most renown!
as we savoured the mindless managerial rampage spread
and while nobody expected the holy Spaniards in their bed
the inquisitor appeased himself in the mirror: “How does the Head of School fair?”
“Incredibly well.” Time to open the champagne!
Only please, when setting targets for the new year,
bear in mind that they should be absolutely clear
for the goal has been – do not forget the rallying cry –
to be in the top five, or perhaps the top ten.
Looking for a new VP, then, to start, once again,
Dante’s ecliptical danse until the end.
Boy in the left (by Quino): “I wanted to be called Batman! and also to be Swiss so I could eat chocolate all day long!”
Dialogue between the shark and the fish (by Arkas): Shark – You know it very well that I can catch you and eat you all! Despite of this, I will make a proposal to you… if you stay still and don’t oblige me to chase you, I will only eat half of you. Fish – Ok, at least some of us will survive. Shark – an agreement is an agreement!
PS. Although events that have taken place at my former School at Queen Mary may have influenced in some ways the creation of this post, it is hoped that it can grow beyond a small campus in the East End of London and attend the wedding of sciences and humanities in universities wherever they stand in this world.
fanismissirlis 
I compared those academics present in the SBCS academic staff website at the arrival of Matthew Evans (September 2011) with those present at this time and plotted the results.
Paul Jump has produced new rankings normalising the research excellence framework assessment per number of eligible staff in each discipline (column 1) instead of using those actually ‘returned’ (column 2; result referred to in poem). First column after the university name gives the number of academics returned; second column those working at the university department and were eligible to participate in the exercise.
My former department is now ranked 37th (out of a total of 44 in the UK). I call this a restruction. It will take a lot of effort to reverse course. May the new year see changes to the right direction…